"Armageddon in Retrospect" is a short story first published posthumously in the collection of the same name in 2008 and reprinted in Complete Stories in 2017.
Plot Summary[]
A form letter arrives addressed to a "friend" who is "above average in intellect and concern," regarding the event of five years ago referred to as "Armageddon." The letter writer recounts his history with the Pine Institute which he initially joined solely because they paid twice the salary of other offers after he completed his expensive doctorate in business administration. The originator of the ideas that brought about Armageddon was Dr. Selig Schildknecht of Dresden who spent his inheritance and latter half of his life on expounding in numerous books his "unified theory of mental illness," which returned to the ancient idea of possession by the Devil. Across the globe two years after Schildknecht's death, an oil millionaire in Verdigris, Oklahoma named Jessie L. Pine ordered 200 feet of books for his library. A book seller, seeing a chance to dispose of a huge cache of the undesirable Schildknecht books, dumped them on Pine. However, the uneducated Pine was inspired by the fact that a European intellectual agreed with him that the problem with the world was the Devil. He founded the Jessie L. Pine Institute, dedicating half the oil revenue of Oklahoma to combating the Devil. While many at the Institute were mere opportunists, Dr. Gorman Tarbell, the oldest and most reputable member, became the living martyr of the Armageddon.
Dr. Tarbell joined when he stopped by the Institute out of curiosity, meeting with the letter writer who awkwardly explained that the purpose of their research was demonology. Tarbell was interested and declared that until the Devil hypothesis is disproved, a scientists must act as if it is true until a better theory comes along. Based on evidence from current psychiatric practice, Tarbell hypothesized: first, electroshock treatments may work because the Devil dislikes electricity; second, talk therapy may work because the Devil is "repelled by endless talk of sex and childhood"; and three, the Devil's hold on people varies, with some people completely unable to expel him. When asked by a reporter if he took these hypotheses seriously, Tarbell replies that most big ideas in the history of science came from "intelligent playfulness" while the serious, sober work merely tidies ideas up. In an attempt to prove these hypotheses, Tarbell oversaw Operation Rat-Hole in which residents of four Oklahoma counties continually wore a helmet with an electrical current while in another four, centers were set up for people to verbally vent about their psychological problems twice a week, all surrounding a county left "unprotected." Three years later before going into a hospital for exhaustion, Tarbell handed a report to Pine, imploring him not to show it to or discuss it with anyone. While recovering, he heard Pine on the radio declaring the Institute had learned how to expel the Devil.
This conclusion proved popular since it meant nations or wealth or human beings themselves weren't responsible for the horrible state of the world, and all blame could go to the Devil. Tarbell himself was skeptical, however, stating that it was not at all clear what exactly Operation Rat-Hole proved. The Pine Institute, having gone bankrupt, handed its work to the United Nations Demonological Investigating Committee (UNDICO), with Tarbell and the letter writer named as American delegates, with the latter elected Chairman, resulting in many jokes made about his appropriate name. Tasked by public pressure to somehow eliminate the Devil, Tarbell began with the assumption that the approach can be similar to an epidemic disease, with the goal of preventing any comfortable place for the Devil to dwell on Earth. Their expensive plan to equip every human with electric headset was rejected. UNDICO instead proposed the talk therapy approach, in which people from all nations would be required—by bribery, punishment, or religious fear—to attend twice weekly compulsory sessions, causing further uneasiness. A disparaging remark by an American delegate about the Soviet Union caused the era of international cooperation against the Devil to come to an end.
Undeterred, Tarbell designed an electrically charged copper drum, large enough to fit a human being, in hopes that he could capture the Devil by summoning him with the Black Mass of Saint Secaire from Sir James George Frazer's The Golden Bough. Finding the required abandoned church in the Mohawk Valley outside Schenectady, the two cart the copper drum out near midnight, drawing electricity from a nearby farm. Wearing their headsets, Tarbell performed the Black Mass with no seeming result but once he removed his headset, he was immediately possessed by the Devil. Fighting his way into the copper drum, he ordered himself sealed in and the drum to be electrified. Since that time, an air-lock with an electrified barrier allows air, food, and water to be given to the demented Tarbell, who now "tries to gain sympathy and freedom" by claiming the letter writer dumped him into the drum. Now managed by the Tarbell Protective Foundation—which operates without government subsidies, since that would require acknowledging that the Devil has been caught—maintenance of this "Devil-trap" relies on private donations, such as from the letter recipient. The church has been rebuilt around the copper drum, which itself has been somewhat extended, but the Foundation hopes to provide Tarbell with a small study, bedroom, and bathroom, along with a monument outside the church, a meager price considering the benefit his entrapment provides to the rest of humanity. The letter is signed by the Chairman of the Board of the Foundation: Dr. Lucifer J. Mephisto.[1]
Quotes[]
"We estimated that to equip every man, woman, and child with one of the electric headsets would cost about $20,000,000,000, and about $70,000,000,000 more a year in batteries. As modern wars go, the price was about right. But we soon found that people weren't inclined to go that high for anything less than killing each other." Dr. Lucifer J. Mephisto
"If I have succeeded tonight, then the Devil is no longer among men. I can do no more. Now, if others will rid the earth of vanity, ignorance, and want, mankind can live happily ever after." From Dr. Gorman Tarbell's final letter
- ↑ "Armageddon In Retrospect", Complete Stories, pp. 143-154.