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HatfieldClan

The Hatfield Clan, 1897

Byron Hatfield was a member of the well-known Hatfield Clan who, like other members of his family, did not use their government assigned middle names. Once, he killed a messenger he thought was one of their rivals, the McCoys. However, the person was in fact a member of the Berylliums en route to his artificial relatives in Maryland. He was also delivering a message from his friend Wilma Pachysandra-17 von Peterswald to President Wilbur Daffodil-11 Swain. Hatfield tried to nurse the Beryllium back to health, but when he failed, he agreed to deliver the message. Arriving by horse[1] and dressed in buckskins, moccasins, coon-skin hat, and carrying rifle, Swain at first thought he was hallucinating Daniel Boone. Due to Swain's deteriorating state, Hatfield did not initially believe he was the president.[2] After delivering the letter and telling his story, he refused a decoration from President Swain with one of his "Lonesome No More" campaign button. Instead, Hatfield asked for food for his trip home and was provided with "all the hardtack and canned smoked oysters his saddleback would hold".[3]

  1. Slapstick, Vonnegut: Novels & Stories 1976-1985, pg. 131.
  2. Slapstick, Vonnegut: Novels & Stories 1976-1985, pg. 128.
  3. Slapstick, Vonnegut: Novels & Stories 1976-1985, pg. 134.