Church of Jesus Christ the Kidnapped

The Church of Jesus Christ the Kidnapped was a religion that, during the presidency of Wilbur Daffodil-11 Swain, quickly became the most popular one in the United States. It was founded by the Right Reverend William Uranium-8 Wainwright of 3972 Ellis Avenue in Chicago. Its theology was that Jesus had already returned to Earth but been kidnapped by the Forces of Evil. The duty of believers was to search for him constantly or God will destroy humanity. As such, one of its primary practices included constantly jerking one's head around, looking for the kidnapped Jesus. Its members proselytized through handing out informational leaflets.

The most common iconography featured Jesus, body forward but face in profile, with a tear in one eye, gagged and handcuffed, with an ankle shackled and chained to the floor. Followers would paint pictures of the kidnapped Jesus "everywhere", including on a wall of the lobby of the Empire State Building when Swain first arrived. Many members of the Daffodil family, centered around Indianapolis, were "searchers for the kidnapped Jesus". When Swain addressed them, he found it disconcerting that the audience continually looked around the room, but nonetheless they seemed to be also paying attention to his speech. Members of the Raspberry family, who resided on the island of Manhattan after it was largely depopulated by The Green Death, were followers of the religion.