Narrator (Storm Windows)

An unnamed seller and installer of storm windows and bathtub enclosures based in North Crawford, New Hampshire is the presumed narrator of at least three and likely four Vonnegut short stories. He had a showroom in town and would generally, although not always, do the installations himself within 25 miles of his home.

Personal Life

In his early 20s during a night of drinking after the marriage of Herb White and Sheila Hinckley—a beautiful and brilliant woman who "practically all the men... had hoped to marry"—the installer suggested to others who desired Hinckley the creation of Lovers Anonymous, a not very serious organization of men in North Crawford suffering from heartbreak. He later married and had a son, although he felt his perceived place in Lovers Anonymous caused strain on his marriage. Due to his importance in its founding, he would sometimes be called "lover-in-chief" and "Mr. President" by fellow members and others, much to his annoyance.

Twelve years after their wedding, Herb moved into the ell of his house, which the installer was first learned about through a piece of gossip from his wife. Initially disbelieving that the two weren't speaking anymore since Herb had recently bought new storm windows, he later had the news confirmed by Kennard Pelk, the chief of police and L.A. member. Herb brought more windows for the ell and hired the installer along with other members of Lovers Anonymous to make it livable. Unlike other members of Lovers Anonymous, the installer read the book Woman, the Wasted Sex, or, The Swindle of Housewifery. This book had also inspired Herb to move into the ell, freeing Sheila from the obligation of tending to his household and allowing her the space to pursue her goal of getting a university degree and becoming a teacher. While measure for the new windows, he encountered Sheila, who said she and Herb had never been more happy now that they were independent. The installer later showed the book to others in the group and lent it to his wife, although with one of her old report cards as a bookmark.

He was a member of the North Crawford Mask and Wig Club, an amateur theatrical group. One spring the usual director, Doris Sawyer, was unable to participate and the installer became the director of A Streetcar Named Desire, despite having only played characters such as the butler or policeman in previous productions. It was he who insisted on Harry Nash performing the lead role, as well as inviting Helene Shaw to audition, who was at that time only visiting North Crawford. It was also indicated that the club was looking for a potential long-term director as Sawyer was now 74 years old, and he did direct at least one other play.

Professional Encounters

After selling them storm windows and a bathtub enclosure, the installer witnessed the marital separation of actor Gloria Hilton and her fifth husband, writer George Murra, through a hot-air register in their bathroom floor. After commiserating and drinking with Murra, he returned home drunk and behaving bizarrely and aggressively with his wife, later falling asleep in the bathtub. Returning to finish installation the next day, he advised Murra in reconciling with his son, John. That evening at home, the installer found his wife had been gone all day and his son told him she said she might never come back. However, she returned that night having relaxed and forgiven him.

A misunderstanding at a Lions Club meeting about the installer's support for Goldwater—when, in fact, he hadn't made up his mind about him one way or the other—led to a purchase and installation order for storm windows for the entire four-story Rumfoord Cottage in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts. While there he was a guest of the illustrious Rumfoord family and interacted with some members of their familial political opponents, the Kennedys, including briefly then-president John F. Kennedy himself.

Appearances

• "Who Am I This Time?"
• "Go Back to Your Precious Wife and Son"
• "Lovers Anonymous"
• "The Hyannis Port Story"