The Euphio Question

"The Euphio Question" is a short story first published in Collier's on May 12, 1951 and reprinted in the collections Canary in a Cat House in 1961, Welcome to the Monkey House in 1968, and Complete Stories in 2017.

Plot Summary

A sociology professor from Wyandotte College testifies before the Federal Communications Commission about the events leading to the development of the euphio, a device which can cause feelings of well-being and peace of mind for those nearby. Six months earlier, the sociologist along with Dr. Fred Bockman, a physics professor and radio astronomer, appeared on a program for Lew Harrison, who runs the town's only radio station. During the program, Dr. Bockman plays over the air a strange signal detected in a part of space with no heavenly bodies. While meant to only play for five second, it's left running for five minutes, only stopping when an engineer's sleeve accidentally caught on a switch. All the participants in the broadcast booth feel an unexplained sense of euphoria. Returning home, the sociologist finds both his wife Susan, who was listening to the broadcast, and his son Eddie, who left in the middle of a baseball game with all the other players, laying in the house in a listless daze. Going to Dr. Bockman's, they find that the whole town was affected for those five minutes, whether listening to the radio or not. Bockman theorizes that this is because the transmitter itself amplified and rebroadcast the waves, which the sociologist dubbed "Bockman's Euphoria."

At that moment, Lew Harrison arrives, declaring they can all make millions of dollars using the signal. He first proposes building housing developments with retransmitters that are removed after all the lots are sold, but this rejected as unethical by Bockman. Instead, they decide to build small, personal amplifier that can rebroadcast the signal within a household, a device the sociologist calls the "euphoriaphone" or "euphio" for short. Bockman agrees to build a prototype which they will test on themselves and their families the following week. During the test, all the participants find themselves filled with calm joy, unconcerned about physical injury or damage to the house, with a broken window letting in the weather of a coming hurricane. Various people such as a milkman, a state trooper, a telegram delivery boy, and a group of Boy Scouts with their parents, enter the house and are all subdued by the euphio. As the hurricane hits, power is knocked out and everyone suddenly feels their pain, cold, hunger, and thirst. Fortunately the Boy Scouts are able to apply first aid and get the furnace running again, while the adult shiver pathetically. While Lew points to the experience as evidence that the euphio provides happiness readily to all consumers, Bockman and the sociologist destroy it instead. Having recounted these events, the sociologist implores the FCC not to allow Lew, whom he calls "an unscrupulous person, unworthy of public trust," to release a rebuilt version of the euphio, one of which is sitting on a table in the committee hearing room. It emits a noise and the sociologist, filled with joy, wishes Lew the best of luck in his new commercial endeavor.

Pop Culture

"The Euphio Question" was adapted as the second installment of Showtime anthology series Kurt Vonnegut's Monkey House, first aired on May 12, 1991. It was directed by Gilbert M. Shilton, written by Jeffery Cohen, and features Gordon Clapp.

The American post-hardcore band This Day Forward has a song called "Euphio Question" on their third and final studio album, In Response, release in 2003. The Canadian post-hardcore band Alexisonfire has a song called "Happiness by the Kilowatt," a line from the story, as the final track on their second studio album released in 2004, Watch Out!